Dear blogger,
- Put sound on your site. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s noisy. Music and ads work equally well.
- Bonus points if it’s exceptionally loud.
- Double bonus if it’s also a little racy, the kind of thing I don’t want everyone in my department hearing.
- Make your site slooooooooooow to load. If it’s taking less than 30 seconds, add a few more widgets and animations.
- Add more animations anyway, you know you want to.
- Put what I’m looking for somewhere I’ll never find it. This goes double for Entrecarders. I don’t care if your widget is above the fold, just put it somewhere on the FRONT PAGE for crying out loud!
- Write a one line summary and then link to someone else’s REAL article. I bet they love it when you try to make money from their work. I know I love being sent on a wild goose chase for it.
- How about some nice pop up ads?
- Bonus points if the ad shows a nearly naked woman. Yep, I want someone wandering by and seeing me looking at that.
- Choose some funky color combination that will make your blog virtually impossible to read. Even better, make it migraine inducing.
That is funny, very funny. Your psots are really enjoyable to read. I shall be back – I better go an double check all the items on you rlist. I only do half.
whew! I’m breathing a sigh of relief- I don’t think I have any of these! I do write for PayPerPost now and then, though.
Good list! Another annoying thing I’ve noticed lately is the use of interstitial ad pages. Not just widgets and sidebar stuff, but a whole page that you have to view before you get to the actual blog. I have removed a couple of blogs from my bookmarks for that offense. I wonder whether they know their full-page ads are driving people away, rather than increasing traffic and making money?
I don’t do music on websites. If there was one thing I would ban, that would be it. If you have a slower connection, you wait forever for it to load and most people don’t know web design well enough to have the music load last so you listen to 5 repetitions of the song before you see the page.
I’m with Beeker. I hear music and I don’t bother to wait. I’m gone.
LOL…too funny..but now you have me getting paranoid and I am diligently checking my site to make sure I only have maybe 50% of the things you listed. I do have a pet peeve…websites that cause my browser to freeze up/crash–every single dang time I go there. I might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but after that happens a third time I don’t care how great the content is, it’s strike three for me.
Beeker, music drives me nuts, and the new ads that start playing as soon as you hit the site are even worse.
BigPappa, mPire widget? Please tell me you’re kidding.
Unfortunately, Craig, I know of a few sites who could fix you right up.
Oh yeah and make sure you have the mPire widgets that hold your browser hostage as they load.
If I hear music I immediately stumble off the page. I have seen very few sites that could incorporate music and pull it off. Plus music tends to crash my browser.
I’d *PAY* for site design like that. Where can I go?